Me, Myself & I

History has previously defined females as she who must have a man in her life. Hell, it was frowned upon for a woman to earn her own wage! Flash forward, women scream ‘POW!’ And, now, an independent woman is deemed attractive, but how does it make her feel?

There’s nothing more satisfying than fixing up that damn coat hook that keeps falling under the pressure of your never-clearing-out stack of coats. And although the typical DIY job can make you feel like you’ve just won a Grammy, the emotional empowerment of being in your own skin, reflecting on yourself and relying on yourself rather than others – that’s the only high you’ll ever need.

I’ve recently found myself revisiting the full empowerment of my own independence as my boyfriend went away for work. My first instinct was dread – I felt anxious about being on my own. However, three years of living on your own gains you a qualification in spending quality time with yourself, so I found myself reflecting on those years and reconnecting with my independence.

Of course, finding independence within one’s self means diving into the nitty gritty part of the journey – being in the presence of YOU. Some of us struggle with being in our own company, in our own heads, and while others may think it’s a walk in the park, others heart rates spike with fear and begin to wonder: What the hell am I going to do?

It’s particularly difficult when something traumatic has happened – perhaps a breakup, an accident, or even a falling out with a family member. It is human nature to crave another’s presence when feeling sad or scared.

As with all of our beautiful journeys towards empowerment, we should always remember to never put too much pressure on ourselves – if you feel you need to be around someone, do it! Let yourself be comforted by your bestie or your partner. Take baby steps towards independence if jumping into the deep end is too daunting.

But when you are ready to spend an evening, or even a day, on your own, you will begin to learn things about yourself instantly. You will immediately try to distract yourself, but in order to be distracted you have to do something enjoyable, right?! You’ll probably find yourself watching your favourite film or rereading an old book.

Eventually your mind will begin to venture out, wondering off on different paths of discovery. Subconscious acts of what to distract yourself with from actively knowing you’re on your own.

If you find yourself staring at a blank canvas, try thinking of yourself – who you are or who you want to be. Do you love yourself? If the answer is no, ask yourself why? Start taking care of yourself in the way you care for your friends and family. Think about what you’re good at, and what you may need to improve.

Live up to your fears. Even if its something as simple moving a spider outside to mind its own business elsewhere. As woman, we are creative, passionate and always looking to make a difference. Get yourself out there. Make that YouTube Channel you’ve always dreamed of streaming. Design your first blog page and talk about whatever the hell you want. Create boundaries with your work colleagues  if they’re taking advantage of you.

Facing your fears will grant you confidence, and once you’ve successfully gained this life skill, you’ll work hard for your deepest desires.

And most importantly never give up on chasing your dreams, no matter how far you are from them, if you feel successful and confident within yourself, in your body, your mind – and in your soul, that’s what really matters.

Are you ready to feel the empowerment of being an independent woman? Start nowby simply loving you!